Unbearable 2: The Lady and the Tiger
by Smileyfax
Summary: Daria, a captive to the bear she once loved, is dragged on a road trip that will change her and the bear forever. Meanwhile, Jane (who is missing Daria) ponders the nature of human/animal romance, and...hahahahaha, this story is going to be so nuts. Hahahahahahaha.


Daria stood at the precipice of the doorway into the nighttime adult education class. A year and a half at Highland High had convinced her that relying on the place as her sole source of education would be the death knell of any effort to get into a decent college. (Well, she had been convinced within her first week of attendance, but the place had only been a moderate hellhole at the time, so she hadn't felt like changing anything). She figured she could breeze past the six-week course, earn her G.E.D., and get a nearly two-year head start on higher learning.

She took two steps into the room and stopped short upon seeing a goddamn bear at the back of the class.

The bear had its front paws propped up on one of the desks (turned around, as it was one of those desks welded to the chair and it sure as hell couldn't fit into the seat) and had a book propped open between them. If Daria didn't know better, she would say the animal was reading the book.

She scanned the available seats. Everyone was giving the bear a wide berth (since, come on, it was a FUCKING BEAR) so the back three rows were empty. There were a few seats open in the front row, but Daria had a strict 'no front of class' policy (a rule she only bent in classes she shared with Beavis and Butt-head). So, she walked down one of the aisles and sat next to the bear. The creature looked up in surprise, then nodded in recognition of her.

Daria tried to focus on her own book as she waited for class to begin, but the curiosity was eating her up inside. She glanced over at the book her...classmate...was reading, and noticed it was a primer on amateur robotics. "What does a bear need with robotics?" she said aloud.

"What does a human need with robotics?" the bear retorted.

Daria had to bite her tongue to stop herself from jumping in surprise. "...I've never met a talking bear before."

"Have you ever met a bear before at all?" Daria shook her head. "We all talk. It's just that most of my species are content to roam the wilderness, eat the wildlife, and...poach picnic baskets." Daria was unable to prevent herself from snorting with amusement, in turn prompting the bear to smirk (at least, it looked kind of like a smirk. Daria was unfamiliar with the facial expressions of bears). "I aspire for something grander than fishing salmon out of a stream for the rest of my life. Human civilization is the only thing that can provide that for me."

"Uh-huh. And what have you learned from human civilization so far?"

"Well, lately I've been studying human pickup lines, and I recently found a rather useful one."

Daria, skeptical of the utility of the pickup line, said, "Alright, let's hear it," and pursed her lips, ready to be snarky.

The bear turned fully towards Daria, lowered its eyelids in a seductive gaze, and said (voice several octaves lower), "Hey baby...what's ursine?"

She couldn't help herself. She let out a chuckle. "I...have to admit, that was a good one."

XXXX

Daria shot awake as the memory-dream ended, thrust back into the reality of having been...kidnapped? by her ex-boyfriend, the bear. Her stomach knotted itself up thinking about how conflicted she was about the whole situation.

She looked out the window of the van. The sky was dark blue, with hints of a lighter shade on the horizon. The window was rolled down, letting in the cold of the pre-dawn Appalachian air. (The mountain ridge off to the west was too small to be the Rockies, and she'd only been spirited from her hospital room last night anyway). Much closer, there was a truck stop, and Daria considered making a break for it, begging one of the truck stop's employees for help.

The driver's side door of the van opened up and the bear slid in behind the wheel. "I got you some coffee, Dee," he said with familiarity. "Careful, it's hot."

"Thanks," Daria nodded, taking it and slowly sipping at it. She said the first question that came to mind. "Why haven't you killed me?"

The bear's eyes widened in shock and just a bit of horror. "Jesus, Daria, why would you think I'd want to kill you?"

"Well, let me think," Daria said, her voice getting an edge to it. "First of all, there was that time you tried to kill me when I got an abortion. Then there was that time you built a fucking robotic version of yourself, which tried to kill me. So I think you'll forgive me if I've missed any cues that you do not, in fact, want me dead."

"I...look, Daria, we have a long drive ahead of us, so we'll have plenty of time to talk on the way, but I just want you to know that I do not want to kill you. I don't mean you any harm. I just...I just want to talk."

She looked at the bear skeptically, but he seemed to be telling the truth. (And it's not like she could outrun him, anyway). "Alright, then. Let's talk. Starting with: Where are we going?"

"Home, Dee. We're going home."

The van started up, pulled out of the parking lot, and hit the highway going west, the sun pursuing behind them.

XXXXXXXXXX

Here it is, the long-awaited sequel to Unbearable! The sequel I'm sure EVERYBODY wanted! This is definitely going to be a different story - I mean, obviously it's still going to be cracktacular, but I think it'll be more subdued (hahaha) and intellectual (hahaha) than the first tale. Not that insane action sequences are ruled out entirely...I guess we'll have to find out along the way! 


End file.
